From Fear to Faith: My Journey in 'Once Upon a Time … God Was Faithful

After enjoying a life-changing weekend at my “Spiritual Makeover Retreat” my good friend Michele Avedikian told me that I needed to write a book! I just kind of blew it off, knowing that in the back of my mind, it’s probably something God does want me to do someday.

The thought of writing a book is daunting, overwhelming and scary because I’m not gifted in that area! So when Michele propositioned me to collaborate with 19 other women where all I need to do is write a chapter, I knew without a doubt that I could do that, and said yes!

The only problem was that I procrastinated because I assumed it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to write 5000 words, since I’ve given my testimony numerous times!

I was so wrong!! Once I sat down to type it out, I really struggled! What do I put in? What do I leave out? Am I going to hurt anyone’s feelings? Is my story even that big of a deal? Do I know what I’m doing? I’m not good at this! I’m not smart enough, I’m not articulate, I’m not a story-teller, mine is going to look and sound like a Kindergartner compared to everyone else! And today there is AI (artificial intelligence) to help you write! Do I use it or not?

I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so intimidated, insecure, incapable and inadequate! My pride, ego and control was taking over and I wanted to quit! I had no business trying to do something that I sucked at, and I hate that term!!!

Well … I prayed, I cried and I pushed through, while wrestling with one of my biggest weaknesses, perfectionism! And you know what? It’s not perfect! I finally had to let it go and let God … it is what it is and I’m glad it done and over. I said to God, “If my chapter ‘Desperate for Love’ blesses ONE PERSON, it was worth it; but PLEASE don’t ever ask me to write a book!!!”

So far, it has blessed more than one person, so I’m happy! Oh and by the way … they removed 84 exclamation marks!!! Can you believe that? My life is a walking exclamation mark!!!!!!!